Jaclyn

Writer's Block: 5//7//5

2009-07-16T03:33:43Z

Sum up your day in the form of a haiku.

Mom and daughter day
playing, shopping at the mall
couldn't be better!

overwhelmed.

2009-06-06T12:33:04Z

I can't sleep. It's 4:30am; been awake since 2:45 :(

Yesterday I was *crying* to the credits song on Signing Time! vol. 2; the song is called "The Good", By Rachel Coleman:

"It was you and me and the whole world right before us
I couldn’t wait to start
I saw you and dreams just like everyone before us
We thought we knew what we got

And then one day I thought it slipped away
And I looked to my hands to hold on
And then one day all my fear slipped away
And my hands did so much more

So maybe we won’t find easy
But, baby, we’ve found the good
No, maybe we won’t find easy
But, baby, we’ve found the good!

It was you and me and a new world right before us
I was so scared to start
I saw you and dreams just like everyone before us
But how did they move so far?

And then one day I thought it slipped away
And I looked to my hands to hold you
And then one day all my fear slipped away
And my hands did so much more

So maybe we won’t find easy
But, baby, we’ve found the good
Maybe we won’t find easy
But, baby, we’ve found the good!"

Why was I crying? I've been overwhelmed lately with thoughts about the possibility of Soren having Celiac disease (gluten intolerance). He's been sick a LOT and he has dropped in his weight from the 60th% range to the 30th% since his first birthday which was when we introduced wheat into his diet. My maternal grandmother has Celiac so we decided to wait to intorduce the wheat/gluten with both kids. It was certainly more difficult with Soren as he couldn't have any of the cracker-type snacks his sister was having but it wasn't for all that long. So he had blood-work doen (regular 16mo) and his pediatrician added the allergy panel to see if there was an allergy that was contributing to him being sick all the time.

The blood-work came back normal, no allergies, the only thing that was off was that he's slightly anemic (by just 1 point). This immediately stuck a chord with me as my grandmother suffers severe anemia due to the celiac disease and has to have blood transfusions every 4-6 weeks at this point because of it. So I asked the pediatrician about it and she seemed not concerned. She attributes his weight to just how active he is and felt the amenia was likely due tohim being sick at the time of the test and thus his immune system being on full-charge. She said she would have expected the cel-size to be smaller if it were celiac; but given the family history, the wieght loss (lack of gain), AND the minor anemia we could retest ina month for anemia and iron deficiency. So I left it at that and tried to put it out of my mind.

Yeah, puting it out of my mind, simply hasn't happened. For a week or so I ignored it completely. Then I asked a friend whom I know has a son with Celiac about how she *knew* and found out his only symptom prior to becoming seriously ill (blood in his stools) was anemia; and got some good advice about trusting my instincts. Still; for some reason I tried to put it out of my mind, it wasn't time to retest yet and he was actually having a spell of GOOD HEALTH.

But then I mentioned it to my mom. At which she did not seem surprised but instead said she's been hearing more and more about how they are linking all sorts of issues with this disease; including neurological issues and that maybe just possibly *my* issues (epilepsy) could have been due to celiac. *WHAT?!?!?!?*

But wouldn't I have been diagnosed with it as a child? Well, my grandma wasn't diagnosed until she was in her 30s. But I had always attributed that fact to her being diagnosed in the 1950s; a time when no one knew anything about this condition.

Now it was time to do some actual research. What did I find? These are possible symptoms of Celiac. A personw ith the condition may have only one or many of the following:

Recurring bloating, gas, or abdominal pain - Yes!
Chronic diarrhea or constipation or both - constipation, Yes!
Unexplained weight loss or weight gain - not really
Pale, foul-smelling stool - not that I've noticed
Unexplained anemia - as a child I was on iron supplements for years due to anemia
Bone or joint pain - not really
Behavior changes/depression/irritability - at several points in my life, I've had depression; usually attributed it to life happenings though
Vitamin K Deficiency - not that I know of
Fatigue, weakness or lack of energy - fatigue, definitely, and not just starting with the pregnancy and mom business
Delayed growth or onset of puberty - nope
Failure to thrive (in infants) - nope
Missed menstrual periods - oh my word, YES YES YES...completely irregular; in fact had an appt. scheduled due to this
Infertility male and female - nope
Spontaneous miscarriages - nope
Canker sores inside the mouth - YES, especially when stressed but often just there
Tooth discoloration or loss of enamel - I had noticed recently my front teeth being brown in the middle...I brush regular but thought maybe it was from drinking too much tea; I'm not a coffee drinker and I don't even do tea every day though.

The list is shocking to me. And looking at it and answering yes to a good number of the symptoms made me realize that this may be a real possibility/reality for me. I can't necessarily see where Soren fits in with the list, except the anemia, but then Iremind myself that the Celiac site says that 1 in 133 people has this condition and that 97% of the people with it go undiagnosed. Also that it is definitely a genetic disorder.

I let that sit a day. Then figured; well I have an appointment with my gyno on Friday (for the missed periods...I've had just 2 since December, which was the first after having Soren, I'm no longer breastfeeding, so I wanted to make sure there wasn't anything to worry about). I can ask her about it and she could do the lab-work to test for the disease as there is a simple blood-test they can do; along with further testing if necessary (small intestine biopsy).

But then I thought I should contact my regular doc about the test as its not really gyno-related. So I did that on Thursday; leaving a message to find out if I need to come in first or if he'll order the test and I can come in for a follow-up and the results. Didn't get a return call (though it wasn't like left an urgent message).

Went to the gyno on Friday; it was a major fiasco becasue they just change offices and there's an outside office handling their phones and appointments during the transition and that office scheduled me for a "well-Woman exam" (pap) instead of a gyno visit with an issue. Apparently the well-women doesn't require insurance approval if you do it ONCE per year, but the latter DOES and since I just had my well-woman in September, insurance would not cover this visit unless they got the approval first (UGH!!!!!!). They were really appoligetic and wanted to reschedule me but I decided I'd rather just pay for the appointment and SPEAK to the doctor than reschedule. So I did. What do I have a FLEX account for anyway, and after major battles with insurance several years ago; I no longer put my health into their hands, its only money afterall.

Anyway, my gyno agreed that she thinks the celiac probably is a good fit. Her only other concern gynelogically given the skicpped periods would be thyroid but she had had that tested back in September because I was coplaining of being overly fatigued and it was normal. She would have ordered the test for me but given the insurance issue it would not have been covered and since it really isn't gyno-based felt bad sending me back to the primary care with "nothing" but its what she had to do.

So now I need to call my primary back on Monday and find out if I should just make an appointment or if he will give me the test without the appointment first.

And given all of this, I think rather than just retesting for anemia/iron deficiecy for Soren I'll have him tested for the celiac; I might even have Sorsha tested as well; I mean realistically if I have to go gluten-free; the whole household is going to have to be gluten free.

Back to why I was crying....I realized that I was holding in all of my concerns and feeling like my world was crashing down around me. And Rachel's song helped me to realize that I *will* find "The Good". We had not watched that DVD in a good long while. I don't think we've ever shown it to Soren, the last time Sorsha watched it was probably when she was still 2 years old. Yet that's what got picked yesterday; I don't think it was coincidence.

The insomnia is my brain going on and on about the possibilty of this being reality and then *how* would I go gluten free...all the foods I'd have to toss from my cupboards, how I would handle taking the kids to school, bible study, anywhere they serve snacks, how my life would have to change and its just overwhelming. I want to let go of it while there's nothing I can do about it and I'm hoping that writing this all out will help me do that.

I haven't read back through this and I'm SURE there are many spelling/grammar errors as I've just been spilling it out as its has come to me; please forgive! Back to sleep I hope to go now (hopefully).

how to foil ones plan to head to bed early....

2009-05-08T16:24:43Z

A little background first....

A few weeks ago Matt installed a microwave over the stove with a cbinet above; covering the window, but giving us a bunch of counter-space back.

Also, if you've ever come in to my kitchen on a non-party/special occasion; you've probably noticed our drying-rack full of dishes. Its perpetually this way. Matt and I both hate our cupboard which holds the pots/pans/corningware/tupperware (yeas all in ONE cupboard with no dividers, just two big shelves and constantly disorganized with too much stuff in there). So we often ignore the dishes in the sink because its somuch of a pain to put them away and they just get pulled out of the sink to be used again (I know, pathertic).

Now on to my story...

I cleaned our kitchen yesterday evening. Put away all the dishes in the sink, and cleared the countertops. It was gloriously clean, like after Mayra (our cleaning lady) clean. I called Matt in to bask in the wonderfulness of the clean and after doing so, we checked the fridge for "2nd dinner" er, snack and noticed that the water container in the fridge needed to be filled.

Matt got something to eat, I got the pitcher out, set it on the counter (in the area where we used to have a micro and couldn't set things but now could) and swiveled the filtered water spiguot and set it to fill. The filtered water comes out *really* slow so I walked away to put something away in my bedroom and then proceeded to *forget* about the running water.

We then watched survivor together and following that I was planning to take my medicine (which was in the kitchen) and head to bed early (a little after 9pm). I walked in to find the water still running.

the floor was wet, I went to get towels and tell Matt. When I returned to fully assess the situation, I realized it was BAD. REALLY BAD. There was water all through the kitchen and the service porch, all the way to my back door, under the fridge, the roll-away dishwasher, the washing machine, the dryer and the cat litter box.

We knew we'd have to move all the appliances and decided towels were insufficient, so got the shopvac and started sucking up water. Then drying the rest with towels.

Matt was working on the area under the washing machine when I was wiping down the countertop and went to wipe anything out of the drawers. I couldn't get the top drawer to open immediately, then when I did discovered it was even worse than we thought. All four drawers were filled to the brim with water too!

So, empty each drawer, silverware, utensils, cookie cutters, recipes (yeah a lot of them were too far gone to save, but several were saveable by laying them out to dry), bags drawer (ziplocks of every size, foil, plastic wrap, etc. etc.), towel drawer with lots of sopping wet towels, bibs, washclothes). Clean everything inside, dry them out., run a couple loads of laundry to clean all the towels between the dish-towel drawer and those used on the floor. Fill up the dishwasher to clean most of the utensils (along with what I had put in earlier from dinner which wasn't full enough to run).

so. needless to say, we didn't get to bed early, but instead LATE, QUITE LATE.

permanent damage? Well, I don't know yet but my hand-mixer might not work, it was fully under water in one of the drawers. I'm letting it dry out fully before trying it. The other problem is the drawers. They are now warped somewhat and one in particular is sticking majorly. We're going to have to pull them out and sand down where the drawer and frame are now rubbing against eachother in hopes to make it open and close smoothly. Gotta wait until everything is completely dry to asses just how bad it is.

The up-side? since I do try to see the positives whenever possible. All my drawers have been cleaned out and excess junk gotten rid of, my kitchen is far cleaner than it has been in a good long while, especially the floors underneath & behind the applainces. Despite just how bad it was, Matt and I handled the situation quite well. Neither one of us ever raised a voice or argued, we just put out heads down and got to work cleaning it up and we worked together, even laughed over it.

I'll never make *that* mistake again!

jhdiddle @ 2009-03-27T14:57:00

2009-03-27T21:57:37Z

both kids alseep, in the middle of the day? And a clean house? If only under better circumstances, I'd be leaping for joy!

Monday we had an all-day playdate with friend Luke & Kaitlyn, visiting from Oregon. Brad and Jill brought down 5 middle-schoolers and another couple for a mission trip to LA. They were here for a BUSY week (serving at 3 different places...homeless shelter for men, Women's shelter and retired missionary's homes, attending our church, sight-seeing and a day at Disneyland).

I took Luke and Kaitlyn for them on Monday while they did some work with the teens. We headed over to Travel Town, had our lunch there, rode the train and explored for a good 2 hours. Then we came back to my house and had some "quiet" time while Soren napped (the three older kids played in the den with the doll house and train sets). In my best "June Cleaver" impersonation we then baked cookies together (though from a mix, not scratch) and I let all the kids play in the bounce house while they baked. Following bounce house and other backyard activities Matt arrived home just in time to help with dinner and baths (I had promised Brad & Jill I would bathe them as it would be the only bath those two kids got all week!). We cooked easy spaghetti & meatballs and served it up with carrot sticks & ranch. All gobbled it up (Kaitlyn surprised me by eating 3 meatballs - she's usually not the biggest of eaters and a bit picky, but apparently I offered the *right* thing!).

Matt finished up eating quickly as he was headed to the World Baseball classic Final game at Dodger Stadium (lucky guy!).

Another church friend, Emmy and her mom Kathy arrived while we were still eating to have a little bit more time with Luke and Kaitlyn. This worked out well and Brad called and needed me to bring the kids down to the church as they were having some trouble with their church van and it was being worked on. I got Kathy to take them and didn't have to load my kids up and head out (being that Matt was gone already).

It was a lovely day, very enjoyable and reminded me how much I miss them and I especially miss the playdates with Sorsha and Kaitlyn. They have always played so well together (the year difference in age always helped it be smooth as opposed to playdates with the same age friends that sometimes turn rocky when both kids want the same toy, etc.).

Sorsha was VERY tired following this long day and both my kids were sound asleep BEFORE 7pm.

Unfortunately come 4am, Sorsha woke up with a 101.4º fever. She was thirsty beyond belief and burning up. ALL day Tuesday, she layed on the couch, listless and I just kept counting the minutes until I could give her another dose of tylenol or motrin. It was *BAD*. She hardly ate, but I just kept giving her the fluids. I HAD to go to the grocery store (was out of seemingly EVERYTHING but most importantly, milk for Soren). So I took them and the entire time she was complaining of the store being too cold and wanting to go home. I did it as quick as possible and got her back home and laying on the couch again, which is where she fell asleep for a nap. She voluntarily went to bed at about 6pm that evening (after having taken a 1.5 hour NAP in the afternoon!). Keeping Soren occupied and away from her (he was bothersome to her) all day was challenging but we managed.

The fevers continued all night and by morning, were really not better. I was thankful she was going to Nana's house as I knew she'd get individual attention and love. I really expected to fevers to break by that afternoon too. But they didn't. She took another nap there and when she came home that evening pretty much headed straight for bed. The fever then spiked to 105º. Yikes! She was asleep though and so we prayed it would break by morning and just kept the meds going and trying to get the fever down.

By morning the fever did break and I thought we were through it. My mom took Soren for the day and Sorsha had perked up quite a bit. We went out to lunch with daddy, but by the time we were done with that the fever was coming back and she was getting lethargic again. That's when I called the doctor; but didn't get a return call until this morning. These fevers were low-grade and she still had some energy and by then a runny nose and minor cough. Once again I was hoping it to be nearly over, but when she woke this morning it was at 101º *still*.

The doctor did call back this morning and we got her in to be examined (with another pediatrician in the office as our doctor is on vacation) as I was thinking maybe it was strep throat or something. Turns out she has an ear infection in the left ear. Its her first ear infection, we've been lucky so far to avoid that with her (Soren has already had one). She's now on antibiotics and this afternoon has fallen asleep for another nap. It's a real bummer when your child is sick. I'm glad to have a diagnosis and to know that she should be feeling better soon. This has been a pretty LONG week and I've just felt so bad for her as she's clearly been MISERABLE.

too darn long!

2009-03-17T21:18:45Z

I was determined to take a walk this morning, though I had hoped to go for an outing with Celi, Myla ended up sick and it was just poor timing for a walk with the boys' feeding time approaching. So, I figured I'd do a walk with the kids in the stroller. When I mentioned such to Sorsha she looked at me and said. "I prefer a hike." (yes, just like that!)

I have really been wanting to hike again...Why'd you go and move away on my Bobbi? I miss it sooo very much but have not found someone who equally wants to be out on the trails as me. Celi and I talk about it a lot but it just hasn't happened. Either one of the five kids are sick or one of us or its raining, etc. etc. My kids are both well this week, but alas, Myla is sick.

I was bummed, then I started thinking. *what's* the difference between me pushing the stroller around our neighborhood by myself and pushing it along Gabrielino Trail by myself. There's cell reception there, its paved most of the way, only about a 15 minute drive away; there's ALWAYS people running, biking, etc. along that trail too. So I did it. I got the stroller and kids in the van and drove to JPL to do my walk there.

It was soooo very beautiful. A perfect day for walking/hiking. The breeze was nice, the weather comfortable, but the best part was the NATURE. The sound of birds chirping, the creak flowing, wind trustling the bushes and trees. The smell of nature...trees, dust, the smell of the stream with its flowing water. And the beautiful sights. Trees, rocks, a creek, even poison oak. There really is a ZEN to exercizing in nature as opposed to along city streets. So good for my overall health, not just the value of getting out and moving, but the mental aspect of it.

The kids got so much out of it this morning too. I took their water shoes and a change of clothes for each, which allowed them to play in the creek for a short bit before I turned around to head back to the car. This was Soren's first time in watershoes and first time he could truly PLAY in a creek (last time I took them to a creek he was just barely walking and fell asleep in the backpack so didn't get to experience it). And while typically on my walks Sorsha reads her books and plays with her magnet toy, oblivious to the "scenery" passing by...this time she neer even requested a book. Was THRILLED to look at the mountains, trees, rocks, talk about them and had the reward of playing in the water. Who needs books when you've got nature surrounding you?

I am soooo glad I did it this morning and I intend to do it regularly. No more using the excuse of not having someone to go with me. I still wont be able to hit some of my FAVORITE spots as they are further into nature and my hubby just isn' comfy with me being out in the middle of nowhere with both kids and no cell reception. I understand this and respect it. There are MANY places I CAN go that are perfectly safe, stroller accessible and will give me the nature fix I so crave without relying on someone going with me. Plus, as the kids are both getting bigger, Its a LOT easier to get out and about with both of them. No More nursing Soren, Sorsha can walk most of the way when she's in the mood for it and the benefits for the kids as well are boundless.

I'm sad that I let myself get out of the practice of regularly going to nature spots right here in out backyard and especially sad that I haven't been making it a priority like I used to. Here's to changing that!

Confidence boost

2009-03-15T03:10:40Z

So, I'm the Pre-school press editor for our Parent Ed program. A volunteer position I enjoy immensly. Its right up my alley, I get to do the majority of the work from my home on my own time and for me, it's easy (when you are skilled in graphic design, then laying out a newpaper is not rocket-science; when you are NOT SKILLED in such it can be many frustrating hours to do what I do in a few...just the nature of the beast). Being such, makes me a member of the Board of the Burbank Parent Education Council. Also, QUITE ENJOYABLE as it is a team of phenomenal people who all work together to make our program the best it can be. I have met so many lovely people and become friends with them.

As part of the board, I was required to help with the biggest fundraiser of the year- the BPEC Fashion Show. Early in the year Melanie (the QUEEN of the Fashion show...this lady really knows how to plan an event and sure does a fantastic job at it!) mentioned the need for models. Basically stating "if you can walk in a straight line and don't faint with lights shining on you, YOU can be a model". Well I meet *those* qualifications. And I also figured, since I had to be at the fashion show anyway, why not be a model? It could be fun.

Being a model did require a bit more advance work (fittings, rehearsal). But still, I was feeling okay with it. Then this week, I needed to get a few things in order...new undergarments...you all heard about the new non-nursing bras - of course I was rather regretting having weaned Soren for my deflated breasts did leave a lot to be desired. I now understand the need for the "push-up bra" and some pantyhose with spanx to make the middle jiggly section less, well jiggly. My long black boots were in TERRIBLE shape, so I headed out to the mall for new ones (of course all boots are on clearance as it the end of boot season and finding my size, 8.5 proved difficult being its a very comon size). I did score boots at Sears of all places. Size 7, which were WAY BIGGER THAN 7! And fit just perfect. I almost didn't try them on except for desperation and that they were on sale for $29.99 (regular $125). Was I glad to have tried. They fit perfectly and I bought them, as well as a brown pair in my proper size that fit just as well as the horribly mis-labeled size 7s.

Wth l all my items secured and ready, last night I was starting to think about it and wondered *WHAT* the heck I was thinking when I agreed to do this. I'm not a shy person, but I'm not all that outgoing either. And I'm not necessarily all that comfortable with my body. Especially the post-pregnancy, post-nursing body I now have. I knew the fashions we had chosen were well suited for my body and that I didn't have anything to worry about, yet it did hit me and I was nervous. And I think rightfully so. Walking the "cat walk" in front of 200 other women is a big deal. I know they are all moms and grandmas, all part of our program and all supporting us models, yet I couldn't help but wonder what gave me the courage to say "I'll do it!" when those 200 others didn't have that courage. My friend Bobbi pointed me in the direction of another friend's blog about how she had gone to a fashion show with "regular women" modelling lingerie. She talked about how she felt she'd never have the courage to model, but then about how she thought all these women were so beautiful, never had a thought at all about any part of them being anything but beautiful and how they probably were really glad to have done it even if they were unsure of their own body-image. This boosted my courage some and I thought about how I would view ladies like me on-stage. I know I wouldn't be looking at their flaws but instead admiring their courage. It was just what I needed to prepare myself.

Bright and early this morning I made my way to the Castaways with a van full of opportunity baskets that had been piled in there the day prior. I had my make-up and hair done. The hair-style was *just* what Melanie and Melissa had asked of the stylists...sleak and sexy, NO Prom-night dos, but I had NEVER gone with a straightened hairstyle. It was not at all what I had imagined (I go for the flowing slightly curled natural do whenever I have it done at all) yet it was hip and fun and sleak and well, perfect for the occasion. The make-up while there was a LOT more than I'm used to (necessary with all the lights I'm told), was not at all clown-ish or overdone. I felt so Pampered. Something I would not have gotten out of today had I not been a model.

Then we waited. I helped with baskets, with balloons, with a variety of things. Then I enjoyed the company of friends and dropped my tickets hopefully into the bins for several baskets, but mostly in the basket with the Wii. call-time came and I got into my first dress in the tiniest room with too many of us crowded in there trying to dress. As we taped the dress to my breasts (just in case!) and I slipped my shoes on, I thought "this is it; no turning back...it's ON". We waited backstage; all a bit jittery and talking about nerves, fixing tags and little showing bras, etc. and the music started. I was THANKFUL to be in the middle of the group. not first, not last. And when the time came, I took a deep breath and walked confidently on stage. My floor-length green dress (from Diana's Boutique) flowing as I walked. I remembered to take my time, look both directions into the crowd and Strike a pose at the end of the runway. Turned to show the outfit to the side audiences, and to show off the back, and then stepped down off the runway and backstage. It went so fast and such a BLUR. I don't remember making any eye-contact with anyone on that walk, and I *think* I remembered to smile, maybe not while walking but at least when I posed. I didn't trip and 1/3rd of the show was now done!

We were excused to our tables (after changing back into our own clothes) and I got to eat most of my salad, when it was time for us to get dressed for the second segment. The gals at my table graciously held my food for me as well as my opportunity basket tickets so they could claim the basket for me in the case that I actually win one when not sitting at the table (wishful thinking huh?). The girls all thought I had done a great job and loved the dress thinking I should purchase it after the show. I might have, if I could imagine wearing it enough, but being floor-length its not one I can wear to casual events and realistacally, I just don't have enough formal opportunities to warrant another formal dress.

The second segment was from a store called Volume Jeans and we all had jean dresses, jumpers, or pants. Mine was a zipper-front dress, which was a great length for walking the fashion show but I doubt I'd be comfortable in it for anything else as when I sat in it, it krept up tooooo high! It was cute none-the-less and the black boots went fantastically with it. This walk down the runway was more relaxed (I had enperience now!) and I KNOW that I smiled more. As I was walking off-stage this time, I heard a few compliments on the boots, which made me smile.

The final segment I wore an extremely cute handkerchief hem green, black and white dress. Casual, yet able to be dressed up or down. It was one I would NEVER have pulled off the rack at a store to try on, except that the store-owner had suggested it. When I put it on; it was PERFECT for me. Highlighted my cleavage, showed off my legs, yet was conservative enough that I was comfortable in it. My confidence was much higher for this last segment and being that I loved the dress, I felt all the nerves go away. I KNOW I Smiled a lot and I made eye-contact with several audience members. I can actually say I FELT GOOD up there. And as I exited I got MANY compliments, that people liked it and it suited me well. I had intended to buy the dress from the day I had tried it on two weeks ago, but following that segment when about 10 people said it was great, I should get it, there was no question. I purchased the dress from Divazz and was thrilled to have *something* to bring home as I was *not* among the lucky winners of an opportunity basket.

I am so thankful for the opportunity I had today to step out of my normal comfort-zone and model. I am so glad I did it. So glad I put my inhibitions about my self-image behind and took the courage to step out on the runway and so relieved that it is over and I can go back to my "normal" life. Will I be a model again next year? I think so. Why not? I've done it before!

Purged

2009-03-06T03:05:39Z

Typically a January activity, I never got to it this year until today.

I cleared out all of the 2006 and earlier bank statements, credit card bills and the like from my filing cabinet. (I of course kept the important tax documents and other such that are required to be kept for longer).

Being that in 2007, I went paperless on nearly all of my bills, the filing cabinet is getting eptier and emptier. And I definitely feel good about this. Especially the green aspect of it. If only there were a way to get them to STOP SENDING ME THE MAILERS! I'm in the process of getting all the catalogs and the like that I receive STOPPED. It's ridiculous. These things go directly from my mailbox and porch to the RECYCLE BIN.

The kids and I had a shred-fest this afternoon. It was actually fun. I started and Sorsha wanted to help. Soren was just enjoying his snack when he just couldn't help but join in as well, grabbing a paper at a time and trying to feed it into the machine. Mommy supervised closely as we didn't want any little fingers anywhere close to the opening! We filled and entire 30 gallon trashbag with shreddings. It require 5 dumpings of the bin under the shredder. It is all done and now in our recycling bin.

I also managed to file away about 3 months worth of papers that needed filing. Of course as I receive so little in paper form, it wasn't all that much...mostly pay-stubs, kids artwork and a few bills from companies that don't do paperless billing.

It feels good to have purged it all. In another a couple years I wont have much of a job at purging every January!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T07:38:58Z

Now, normally, Christmas is an event I stress over. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I always worried about every little detail and finding the perfect gifts for so many people and making the perfect meal and on and on...

This year its different. I can't tell you what it is that made it different event/life-wise, but my attitude is a whole lot different. A whole lot humbler and more about the reason we celebrate, than the materialistic things.

We are not into the Santa bit. Until this year we hadn't made a conscious choice necessarily either way as Sorsha was just too little to "get it", so we let her think of Santa as a "decoration", just like snowmen, etc. This year, we thought about it and talked about it. What we have always taught Sorsha is that Christmas is Jesus' birthday. She knows full well that Jesus came to live on earth and then to die for us. This is our most basic belief. We definately play up that Jesus is soooo very important that everyone gets gifts on His birthday. We talk about how he was a very special baby. We found a great DVD called "The Very First Noel" Its narrated by Andy Griffith and it is an animated version of the nativity story, from the Wise Men's point of view. Excellently done. This has been a good tool in helping Sorsha understand Christmas and its importance. She got 4 visits with Santa this year, none of which did we set up or try, just as part of the regular activities she does. One was at My Mother-in-Law's Christmas party, twice at Parent Ed and once by complete accident at the Library. She seems to get that Santa brings presents as each time she saw him, she received something...we are just letting her think of him as yet another character, like the princesses or Winnie the Pooh and thus she thinks he's grand, but he's not the focus. I hope to be able to continue in future years to focus Christmas on the birth of our Savior, while allowing her to enjoy Santa, snowmen, reindeer, etc. I don't want to completely take away the joys these things bring to childhood, just keep it in perspective.

We didn't shop for Christmas gifts until last weekend. Yes, we waited for the "last minute" just because that's what it came down to. In years past, this would have totally stressed me out, I would be going crazy not having it done, would have been stressed about going out into the masses at such a late date, about there being "nothing left", etc. etc. This year, while I wanted to get it taken care of, I wasn't stressed. That's when we had nailed down what to get people and that's when we went and got it. Nothing to it. Stress free. Imagine that!?!?!?

Our children are getting a whopping 4 gifts each under our tree this year from us. They will be/have already been spoiled by grandparents and other family and friends. We have way too much stuff for them anyway and so I kept it extremely simple. A few books and games for Sorsha, the newest Baby Signing Time stuff for Soren. If only I could convice my relatives that less is more...we'll work on that for next year.

Matt and I promised to keep it simple between us as well. We just went to Hawaii last month and there really is no need to be extravagant. His love for me and the kids, his dedication to us, his warmth and tenderness. These things are what its all about. I don't need an overpriced gift wrapped under the tree to know that he cares about me and is thinking of me and I know he feels the same way.

I am very peaceful tonight. I hope you find peace in knowing that Christmas is all about a humble beginning for our Lord and Savior. All other things cannot compare to the empty tomb and tomorrow we celebrate the birth of Jesus, who would die for us and three days later raise up leaving his tomb empty; that we would have eternal life in Him.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T18:10:58Z

There are many things I am thankful for this Holiday, but only one person I am thankful TO.

God has blessed me with a wonderful, loving, handsome, caring Husband (and you all know there are a ton more adjectives to add to that list). He has blessed Matt and I with two beautiful, healthy, happy children. I never knew I had so much love in me, until these blessings came to us.

Sorsha is such a loving little girl and she's so inquisitive, cheerful, funny and sensitive. I see bits of myself and my husband in her every day and she never ceases to amaze me, amuse me, frustrate me and show me her beauty from the inside (and I do feel blessed even with the frustration as it usually is due to her asserting her independance and strength...two qualities which I'm proud to foster, even though it can be very frustrating!)

Soren, my baby boy, my love. He's so happy all the time, so content, yet very strong. He holds his own with his controlling sister and he is very determined. He is snuggly sometimes and a complete wiggle-worm at other times. He loves to laugh and is extremely playful. He can really show when he's upset though! If we are eating and he isn't getting something to eat himself...he'll start screaming and really getting angry. When we take tings away that he shouldn't have, oh man, the wrath! But, just as quickly he calms down and shows his love again. He's a good sleeper (a true blessing!) and he' a fantastic eater too.

We just took a trip to Hawaii. I'm so lucky to be able to travel and to be able to show our children places other than home. I'm grateful that we were able to take not one vacation this year, but two. It is very important to get away sometimes and I'm happy we have the means to do this.

A few weeks ago, right before our Hawaii trip, Matt's work announced a plan for reduced hours. We were scared, frustrated, and not sure how it would all play out. But we focussed our attention on the blessings we have and did not fret. Our prayer was not for more money, nor for a new job for Matt or anything of the sort. Our prayer was that we would stay focussed on God and what he has provided us. That we would enjoy our vacation and not worry over the finances. That we would continue to believe firmly, that whatever happened, God would provide, he always has and we were confident he would again.

Well, when you put your trust in Jesus and you believe with your whole heart that he will provide for you. He does it. Matt's work got a new HUGE project in and he's the lead on it. Not only does he not have to reduce his hours...they've told him that he doesn't need to use ALL his vacation before the end of the year, and even has approved him for some overtime as needed. Quite the different story than the 20 hours a week we were facing before leaving for Hawaii.

So I am thankful to God for providing for us and for blessing us. I am thankful for a living God who works in our lives and shows us daily his wonderful love and grace. I am thankful. Period.

Signing

2008-11-27T16:20:30Z

The other day, we were at Parent Ed class. I went to second discussion (its the multi-age class, so we each pair up with another mom and there are two discussions, we take turns watching the children while the other mom goes to discussion time). Anyway, I can back from discussion and Teacher Ruth was holding Soren (she's one of the teacher aids for the claass). He was calm sitting in her lap happy as ever and as I approach, I notice he's making the sign for milk (opening and closing your hand, like milking a cow). She, completely oblivious to the fact that he's actually trying to communicate, is opening and closing her hand like him, thinking he's just discovering and playing with his hand. I giggled inside, then politely told "that's the sign for milk". She bust out laughing, blushing. "Can't get that from me!" (she's about 60 years old).

It was cute. I did nurse him and he was happy. Sign Language does work. Instead of crying uncontrollably, my 11 month old was simply asking for milk as he was hungry!

He now has the following signs in his vocabulary: milk, more, please, thank you, mom, dad, cereal, banana, cat, eat, all done (finished)...we're working on book, sister, car, train, ball and others but he hasn't mastered those yet.

Vacation update part 3

2008-11-25T05:00:11Z

On Monday morning we headed to the Honolulu Zoo. Its a nice zoo. Not as big as Los Angeles Zoo of course, but there are some great features to that zoo. A) Its on flat land! B) Lots and Lots of SHADE C) the exhibits are designed with low walls so a toddler can view the animals without having to be lifted to see over the gate like at LA Zoo. D) a great African Savannah section and E) They too have Komodo Dragons (Sorsha's most favorite zoo animal..I know, its strange, they just sit there but for some reason she's in love with them....just ask anyone who's been to the zoo with her in the past 2 years)

That "E" part is what got us in trouble. We had reached a fork in the path and had to choose left or right. Sorsha chose right, so she and I headed that way, when following us, Matt headed left and discovered that was the direction of the Komodo exhibit. He announced to Sorsha. "Sorsha, look! There are Komodo Dragons this way..." She took off running at a SPRINT! And uneven asphalt and running in Crocs =

A scrapped up knee!

A zoo worker heard the crying and came to our aide having security bring us some bandaids. I was already cleaning it with water from the camelback and was going to get bandaids out of the backpack, but thankfully they sent a security guard on a bike with them as my mini first-aide kit (which lives in the backpack) was mysteriously removed and had been left in the hotel room. Following the sppill, we did enjoy the rest of the visit to the zoo and made a nice morning of it.

We then had lunch and following lunch went down to talk to the tour salesperson about swimming with dolphins. We would have to sit through a 90 minute timeshare salespitch, then we would get to do the dolpin experience for only $70 for our whole family instead of nearly $250 full price. We were willing, so we signed up.

After that we took the kids to the beach again for some more activity to wear them out so they would take naps as we were heading to the Magic of Polynesia show that night. Family quiet time in the hotel did result in both kids taking solid naps, which was much needed.

That night we headed to the magic show. It was awesome. The food left quite a bit to be desired at that cost, so glad we had won a free ticket to the show! The kids fared pretty well and Sorsha REALLY enjoyed the magic show along with the polynesian dancers, fire dancer, etc. At the end of the show, the guy made it "snow" (bubbles) and it really did look like it was snowing in there. She continues to talk about it snowing at the magic show. The boy of course fell asleep right as the actual show started so he missed the whole thing!

Tuesday morning we went to the timeshare talk...which the lady did go through it pretty quick and we respectfully decline buying in. Not about to add another monthly bill at this time, though I can see why people do buy in to those. They actually succeeded in getting us completely done and out of there in less than 90 minutes and they were very kind.

We then packed a lunch for the kids and gathered our things to head out to Sea Life Park for our Dolphin experience. The drive was lovely

We arrived and got all the info for our 1:45pm dolphin experience, then had time in the park to veiw the animals, havve some lunch...in the middle of which Sorsha needed to go potty...and oh man, she sat there forever going 2.5 days worth of poop as she had not been able to comfortably go the previous two days (you know...auto-flush toilets some places, scary bathrooms, etc. it can be tough on vacation). I was so glad she got that out and then could be comfortable and finally eat a decent meal again (she was resisting lunch and had hardly eaten breakfast, I'm sure due to her tummy hurting).

Our swim with the dophins was awesome. We had seen the morning group in the pool and there were approx 25-30 people in the pool with the dolphins so we figured it would be the same for our group and we'd barely get to touch the dolphin, etc. but when it came to our time, its was just us four along with a dad an daughter (2 year old). We had the full 35 minutes in the pool with just 6 of us! The whole time she was talking we all were getting to pet the dolphin and each got a good amount of time to kiss and dance with him. Soren and Sorsha both LOVED touching the dolphin. Soren was reaching and pulling away from me to get to the dolphin, he wasn't scared at all! We bought the video and one of the pictures, but I've not yet figured out if I can upload it on my computer...another task to be done! You'll have to believe me that it was just awesome and if you take your kids to Hawaii. Look into it. Sorsha tells everyone "My favorite part of the trip was swimming with the dolphin". people look to me and I confirm that she did indeed swim with a dolphin and pet and kiss him too!

Here is a pic of the dolphins doing their show:

The kids slept in the car on the way back to the hotel and then we planned on an early dinner at an italian restaurant. Unfortunately, Soren was miserable, wouldn't sit in the high chair, just cried uncontrollably. I couldn't figure out the problem, but in retrospect realize he must have been cutting a molar right at that time as we discovered molars coming in the next morning.

We had not done much in the way of shopping for things to bring home to people so we decided to take the kids back to the hotel, give them baths, put them in their jammies and take them in the backpacks as we walked Wikiki row for gifts to bring home. All week I had been craving a coldstone ice cream, so we indulged...including Sorsha, with disgusting blue "cotton candy" flavored ice cream.

Soren even enjoyed some bites of the super berry tart frozen yougurt Matt got. I had a mint mint chocolate chocolate chip signature creation. it was yummy and with a coupon fromthe timeshare people (they gave us a book of coupons/discounts) we all had our ice cream for only $6.50 :) The kids fell asleep in the backpacks pretty quickly as we continued to shop.

After getting our wares, we hit one of the 80 thousand ABC stores for some Macadamia nuts and milk for our cereal in the morning. The kids after sleeping so long in the backpacks, had some trouble getting back to sleep in their beds, but eventually did and I got everything packed for the trip home (minus beach gear as we planned on one last jaunt down there before heading to the airport).

Our last morning in Hawaii, we took the kids down to the beach for a final farewell swim.

Then bathed them and packed up the last of the stuff and did a final sweep of the hotel room.

We got on the road to the airport about 40 minutes ahead of my very conservative tim-frame, which landed us through rental car return with NO WAIT, through agricultural inspection also with no wait, checking our bags and getting checked in and our seats changed so we had the right seats to accommodate the carseats (there's rules where a carseat can be placed...not between a person and the isle), this also went real quick with essentially no wait. Through security, and all the way to the very far away gate. All with no snafus or hold ups, so we were nearly 3 hours early for our flight! :(

Matt had contracted some sort of stomach bug and was suffering not fun diarhea. I got him immodium at a hefty price of over a dollar per pill! But it helped him through the flight. The kids ran around the waiting area, we ate lunch, we ran into Matt's mom's boss who was on our same flight home (go figure) and we waited, and waited, though it did seem to go by pretty quick given just how much time there was to waste!

The flight home included I think 8 families all with children under the age of 2! So basically there was crying from at least one baby at all times throughout the flight. Which does help me feel the tiniest bit better about the horrible screaming from Soren on descent. He was tired, he had teeth cutting through, his ears were likely hurting with the pressure chage, he wouldn't nurse, wouldn't drink his water, kept throwing the pacifier and just screamed for a good 20 minutes before finally passing out shortly before we actually landed. :( I was soooo very thankful we had purchased a ticket for him and had him strapped in to the carseat as I don't know that I would have been able to contain him on my lap at all!

We finally did arrive home after 11pm, tired, worn out and ready for some rest. Unfortunately, the kids didn't sleep well at all that night, I'm sure due to lack of decent food/eating patterns and lack of activity all day long.

Overall the trip was FANTASTIC! and I'm really glad we went, even if our financial situation is not exactly what we'd like it to be.

For ALL the photos/vodeos from the trip, visit my flickr album: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jhdiddle/sets/72157609649342299/

vacation update part 2

2008-11-24T05:32:25Z

I didn't like how the last post turned out with links to all the photos so this time I'm embeding them...

Day 3 we got up and walked down to the beach. The weather was a bit loomy...grey clouds, a storm on the way?

Well...it was warm out so we went even without sun. Well, about 15 minutes into our play-time on the beach, it began to rain. We had felt it a little cool for Soren to dip in the water, so he was in the Ergo on my back while Matt and Sorsha were in the water. Then, as the rain hardened a little I took shelter under some palm branches up toward the street. It finally got to pouring and Matt and Sorsha came running up, we grabbed the big Ikea bag of towels, clothes, etc. and ran accross the street for shelter under the awning at Starbucks. As the rain failed to clear up quickly...we eventually headed into Starbucks, changed Sorsha's clothes (she had been wrapped in a towel, but needed to be dried and in regular clothes). We then decided to enjoy some fares from Starbucks...Matt: coffee, me: Hot Chocolate, Matt: "Perfect Oatmeal" with nuts and dried fruits, me: Blueberry Scone.

Sorsha stole the scone, and eventually the rain let up enough for us to head back to the hotel.

We then headed out to the Dole Pineapple Plantation, toward the North Shore of Oahu.

We enjoyed lunch first. Soren had his first taste of Pineapple.

Then of course, there was more rain, so we decided to kill some time letting Sorsha open a pearl at the Maui Divers stand. She opened a black pearl! We had it set on put on a chain her length. They then gave her another oyster choice for free, and believe it or not, she picked a second black one!

They have a really fun maze at the Dole Plantation which is apparently the worlds largest maze per guiness book of world records.

Soren chose to sleep through that experience!

It rained on us again while we were in the maze, so we didn't do the whole things but had fun none the less. The tropical climate means rain but warmth, so while annoying to be a bit wet, its not cold or anything to run from really. Just water.

After the maze we took the train-ride, and a couple in front of us took the single picture of the whole trip with ALL FOUR OF US.

at least its a good one!

We then headed up to North Shore and stopped at the first beach we found as the kids were ready to pass out and we wanted to let them play on the beach first. any beach is fun for them and this one was pretty deserted, and lovely!

Following that fun, the kids did pass out on the car-ride back to the hotel.

Following nap time, another dip in the hotel pool, while Matt tried to sleep and Matt ended up taking pics of us in the pool from the balcony 15 floors up:

And then we hooked up with Mike Goluch and his girlfriend, Pilar as serendipity had us both vacationing in Hawaii at the same time! They had heard that the Hilton was having fireworks that night, so we hooked up on the beach to watch the show. It was short but fun and then Sorsha couldn't help but take another night-time dip in the ocean where we discovered the grunyon were running! (though I didn't get any pics of that ).

The next day...another ocean trip first thing in the morning, followed by doing laundry at the hotel (we only brough clothes for 1/2 the trip). And then a trip to the Swap Meet with Mike and Pilar. We didn't get too many great things at the swap meet, mostly because we weren't really sure what (if anything) we wanted. I did get a new swim suit and Sorsha got this *really* annoying princess cell phone and we got a few small things but that's about it. A pretty low-key day. Then dinner with Mike and Pilar at Chili's. They were heading home the next morning so we wanted to get together one last time.

On Sunday we went to Church at Honolulu First Church of the Nazarene. We had been told the incorrect time for their service by the district office so were an hour early, but it worked out. Both kids stayed with us for the worship section of the service and Sorsha went to their Children's church and Soren went to their nursery. They were all very kind people and it was a nice service. The district president was speaking instead of their local Pastor, and it was a good message on each of us being a missionary to the people we are in contact with. i.e. WE (the people) are the church, not the building!

We had planned to visit the zoo following church but Sorsha insisted instead that we just go to the beach (again!)

Following the beach, we spotted a rainbow and that evening (after the kids did take a nap in the hotel) we finally watched a Waikiki sunset.

A tour salesperson approached us about taking the kids on a Dolphin adventure at SeaLife Park and we started to consider it. I hadn't realized that a baby could be in the tank with dolphins...now I knew he could!

And more will be added later :)

Vacation Wrap-up Part 1

2008-11-22T23:38:51Z

we are back from Hawaii and we had a fantastic time!

On the first day we had to be on the road to LAX at 6am, we did hit traffic but it wasn't terrible. Getting luggage checked and rolling the kids through security went well. We had purchased a "gogokidz" set of wheels that attaches directly to the carseat, and our neighbor had one as well that we borrowed for the second carseat as we've had another kid since our last flight. These make it easy to get the kids around and also avoid having to CARRY a carseat! Only little snafu was at the security, we forgot that sorsha was holding a stuffed dalmation and so did not instruct her to put it in the bin to go through with our carry-ons. The guy stopped her going through the metal detectors and this freaked her out. After getting her calmed down, we got all of our stuff gathered and continued to our gate; arriving at the gate as they began pre-boarding. So Matt took the kids and I took the carseats onto the plane to install them. He joined later with the kids when it was time for regular boarding.

Had an uneventful flight, with both kids faring well, no real issues on the plane, Soren slept much of the way, Sorsha played with her Princess dolls, read books and watched out the window, etc.,

We rented the car (cheap American-made mini-van), installed the carseats and were on our way to the hotel. We stayed at the Queen kapiolani Hotel, which is on the far end of Waikiki, right across the street from Honolulu Zoo. I'm sure when it was first built it was a very nice hotel...now its more on the average-side as its showing its age and is a little worn down. Though fine for what we needed! The veiw out our Balcony included Diamond Head, Waikiki Beach, the hotel pool, and Honolulu Zoo. Not bad at all.

The first evening we took the kids out to dinner on Waikiki Strip and then walked the beach-side back to our hotel. It was so pleasant to be walking under the light of the moon with our feet in the warm ocean water. Sorsha was in hog heaven. We did not plan this ocean trip so did not have her suit or even a change of clothes. So we ended up taking her back to the hotel "commando" in the Ergo carrier. Worry not, no one could tell she had no bottoms!

The next day we attended the Pleasant Hawaiian "welcome breakfast" as the kids were up at the crrack of dawn anyway so we might as well get the free breakfast out of it. I won a free ticket for the Magic of Polynesia show, so we bought a ticket at a reduced rate for Matt, the kids would be free. We decided to forgo a luau as this would be similar with the magic added in. All the other tour options just were outrageously expensive and were not appropriate for young kids so we left a bit early and walked our way back to the hotel. We took a swim in the hotel pool, had lunch in the hotel restaurant (which did leave quite abit to be desired), then headed out for a walk with the kids in the backpacks so they would nap. After their naps, and a long walk, with more weight on our backs that we'd prefer...we headed to the Waikiki Aquarium. Sorsha let a Hermit Crab crawl on her hand and it was generally a nice visit, though a much smaller aquarium than what Sorsha was expecting (when she thinks auarium, its Monterey Bay or Aquarium of the Pacific that she's expecting). After the Aquarium, we took another stroll on the beach, this time in day-light, though still no bathing suits!

That evening, we had dinner at a nice restaurant, Sorsha graced us with song, while the boy slept. They both went to bed well in the hotel room and we started to plan the rest of our days there.

More to come later!

The Haircut

2008-11-07T04:55:06Z

First, a couple "before" pictures:

Sorsha's hair had gotten QUITE long and the daily torture (for both her and me) of doing her hair was becoming traumatic (for both of us!). So today, we got it cut...

We took off over 8 inches. I'm really hoping this will make our mornings more pleasant and that I will not need to stock so many Thin Mints in the freezer to bribe her with (its the only thing she will absolutely sit still and eat and let me brush her hair when it gets really tangled).

So, here is the "after" picture:

Time Change

2008-11-04T03:20:32Z

see...when I was younger (i.e. before kids) I enjoyed the fall time chage as it meant an extra hour of sleep!

Now; babies and young children do not adjust like we do and an extra hour of sleep is by no means something they care to have!

Two days in a row of being up BEFORE 6am and I'm not liking this! Plus their eating scheule has to change slowly as well. We'll have it all sorted out by the end of the week...of course just in time for our trip to Hawaii next week! That's sure to throw them for a loop...

Today I've been rather blah...not sure why, just not all *there* Feeling slow.

I made the lactation cookies this weekend. they are quite yummy. Shared with my neighbor Celi who has almost 2 month old twins. She overdid it and the choc. chips cause both boys to have projectile spitup, so she had to lay off. Thankfully Soren is no longer bothered by the foods I eat terribly, so I've been chowing down. Sorsha is quite fond of them and for a *cookie* they have lots of good stuff in them (flaxseed meal, oatmeal, brewer's yeast). I don't mind her having one of these over halloween candy for certain. Though she doesn't get much in the way of sweets so I'm limiting her to ONE per day. My milk supply was MUCH better last night, I'm sure due to the combo of fenugreek and lactation cookies. I'll need to make more cookies soon as I'm almost out...of course sharing half with Celi, and both Matt and Sorsha sampling meant not a whole ton to last me very long. Next time I'll make a double batch and I'll also make some of them without choc. chips...maybe substitute raisins in some and nothing in others so Celi can try both ways.

I found out that Rachel has shipped my "bubble Bath contest winner" package. I'm quite excited...so curious what she's going to send beyond the $12 bar of soap! This did help to end the blahs this afternoon.

I went to bed at 7:30pm last night! yes, 7:30!!! I had heartburn last night...not at all sure why, In all my life I've ONLY had heartburn while pregnant (REALLY bad heartburn during BOTH pregnancies but none otherwise). I know I'm not pregnant seeing as Matt got his vasectomy and we did not have ANY sex until the "all-clear" tests and everything prior to the proceedure was protected and of course was quite a while ago so I'd have know if I was pregnant...but this sure is one strange symptom...I hope not a sign that I'll be suffering this even on occasion for the rest of my life. It is miserable!

I think that is enough rambling for now. I posted a bunch more photos to flicker this weekend. you can see the October set here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jhdiddle/sets/72157608592377161/

Breastmilk shortage

2008-10-31T03:49:49Z

For about a month and a half now I've been fighting to keep enough breastmilk to feed Soren without having to supplement with formula.

It all started with stress/lack of sleep. Then I tried fenugreek and it made me and Soren gasssy, so we still didn't get enough sleep. As things got better, we were okay, then he'd hit a growth spurt and I'd be lacking and we'd do the up multiple times at night thing. This leads to not enough sleep, which leads to less milk. I'd get it under control for a few nights only for my supply to drop again or his need to increase.

I just want to make it to 12 months so we can transition straight from breast to milk and skip formula. I know its not the end of the world to give formula, Sorsha had formula only from 4 months on...but I feel like I'm soooo close and I just want finish out the full year.

The pediatrician said I can give him some cows milk starting at 11 months and transition off the breast; but if I need to supplement the breast before then I'll need to give formula. So I have 2 more weeks to make my body work for me....

In that time we'll be off to Hawaii and I wouldn't want to introduce milk right before a vacation anyway, so the plan is to somehow make enough milk in the next two weeks to satisfy him; which I'm managing.

Just need to get plenty of sleep, take fenugreek sparingly...enough to increase supply but not get us too gassy, and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.

I know I can do it, I just keep getting depressed over it (which doesn't help!) then I'm okay...its a roller coaster.

WooHoo!

2008-10-29T02:53:08Z

Turns out I won a $12 bar of soap for participating in National Virtual Mass Bubble Bath Day.

how exciting is that? not only did I get to relax and have a very pleasant evening...but I win a prize from THE Rachel Coleman (the creator of SigningTime and pretty much the greatest person on earth).

I'm downright giddy right now.

Christmas shopping

2008-10-28T21:02:39Z

I can see that shopping for Christmas this year is going to be much more of a challenge than previously.

Sorsha is totally aware of everything we buy, who its for, when we are giving it to them...if its for her, we must be opening it *right away*. I'm not going to be able to buy things for her with her along and I'm not sure I can buy things for other people either as she can't wait to give people their presents and can't stop talking about them when we get them until they are given.

I guess I'll do most of my shopping via mail order. Hide the stuff, that's the only way she'll be surprised and I wont have to deal with "when when when???"

I did a LOT by mail last year due to being overly pregnant...it really was a LOT easier.

Back to work I go!

The Bubble Bath

2008-10-28T03:15:56Z

First there was Signing Time! chat last Wednesday. I'm new to it, just pop in here and there...its fun people, we all love Rachel and of course all of us have kids whom we are teaching to Sign....

Anyway, Rachel suggested we make Monday (today) National Virtual Mass bubble Bath Day. It sounded so fun and its been on my mind since.

Come today...after getting the kids to bed and Sorsha was overtired so it wasn't the easiest process; I cleared the tub of various toys...turtles, duckies, Dora Bathtime doll...you get the picture! ... and I filled the tub with lovely hot water with Bath and body works' Grapefruit Jasmine scented Bubble Bath. In I went and enjoyed a nice relaxing bath. After taking the obligatory picture, Matt turned down the lights, lit a Cranberry Orange candle (okay so I had a bit of some competing scents, but they were both citrusy) and then made my favorite tea (Teavana White Peach tea..yummy!)

Yes, I have work to be done, yes I have housework to be done, yes I have a preschool press to layout, yes I have a slideshow for Girl Scouts to be working on, but Instead I chose to RELAX and take a bath!

ahhh

2008-10-27T21:56:18Z

I know I never post and really I should, I just spend so much time reading and catching up on others that I don't have time left to make my own updates!

Here's to trying to change that.

Sorsha is having her "Quiet Time" while Soren is having his nap. She just started bringing me pieces of construction paper that she has colored and she's telling me what they are pictures of using Sign Language. So touching!

Soren is now 10 months old. I know...how did that happen?!?!?! He is starting to take steps on his own...the most I've witnessed is 6.

Matt's company is making him use up all of his vacation before the end of the year. We are going to use some of that time for a trip to Hawaii in two weeks. Then he'll take the last two weeks of the year off (Christmas week and new years' week). That will be convenient.

I still do lots and lots of volunteer work. I'm a Girl Scout leader still. The girls have now reached 6th grade, are cadettes and are puting on their own programs for younger girls. A Mother-Duaghter "Fashion Tea" which is a tea party with a fashion show which all our girls model uniforms from the 50s through the present. Pretty fun I must say.

I'm also volunteering on the Burbank Parent Education Council (where we do mommy and me) as the Preschool Press editor. Its fun to get to know more of those other parents better by beong on the Council Board. And Editing/laying out a Newspaper is right up my alley!

I've been asked to become a "leader" at my BSF Bible Study, but I'm just not ready to take that step...I like that I'm able to participate but not have the responsibility of leading and I am really growing in my Bible knowledge, etc. And I just don't think I want to add yet another way of volunteering and another commitment.

I guess volunteering is my hobby, I get such enjoyment out of it and it sure doesn't feel like work at all.

Time is running out on "quiet/nap time" so I'm going to finish this up and add a few links to some favorite photos and videos I've recently added to my flickr account.

First - Sorsha in her TinkerBell Costume:

Next - Soren eating his toes:

And a couple pics...
Cute one of the kids on the lawn:

Pumpkin/apple picking:

Enjoy!

Satisfied with Life

2008-06-10T03:39:28Z

hrm...where to begin.

Seeing as its actually been years since I made a post about the goings on here (except the newsflashes of the birth of my children/big events relating to them and pictures of course), it's hard to even know what to say here, but I wish to start at it and make an effort to post more of what is going on.

family. THE BEST EVER. I have a phenomenal husband, who is so very aware of his family and I am so ever thankful to God for puting him in my life. He is one of those husband/daddy's that just amaze all the other wives/mommies. He automatically steps in to take care of the kids or to do nice things for me without prodding. he is conscientious, he is loving and he is just the man of my dreams. I can't thank him enough for being who he is and for making my life complete.

Our children are marvelous. Yes, its been literally 4 years since I've slept throug the night, Sorsha most certainly has the ability to drive me nuts at times with her whining and oneryness, but she's so precious, kind and adorable the vast majority of the time. She's very intelligent, Absolutely LOVES books and the library...heck our most effective discipline (for really heinous behavior such as pushing the neighbor girl down our front stairs...no one was actually hurt, but the act sure was offensive!) is to take away her library books. This has only happened twice and she's really gotten what the discipline was for and has not repeated anything near that behavior. She loves to sing. Knows a zillion songs by heart and if she doesn't know the words sings the best she can manage at the top of her lungs. This is especially cute at church where she just praises the Lord with all her heart and sings along in joy. She is quite aware of the things around her and has al ot of compassion. If she ever hears a siren, she wants to pray for the peple that they are not hurt and that the firemen help them. We are not puting her in preschool as she is so advanced in her language, and social development that there really is no reason to pay hundreds of dollars to put her somewhere where they will teach her the things I've *already* taught her in her daily activities. We have many activities that are "school-like" such as our Parent Ed classes, Bible-study, hiking group, and library story-time. She knows all her colors, numbers, letters, shapes, seasons, days, months, and on and on, She also knows all of these things in Sign Language so she is effectively bi-lingual. We will have abig decision on our hands when it comes time for her to start Kindergarten. We really wanted to put her (both of them) at the Private Christian school Matt went to K-12. But financially, we may not be able to swing that. Realistically I'd have to work nearly full-time just to pay for their education. Not that I don't value the Christian education, I just don't know that I can wrap my head around the costs. So I'm considering Home-schooling them. My neighbor down the street and best friend is planning to homeshool her children (Myla is a few months younger than Sorsha and she's currently pregnant with twin boys due in October). If we encourage eachother and work together I know we could do it duccessfully. We just need to fully wiegh all the options, pray about it a lot and the right direction will come to us when we need to make that decision. It doesn't hurt to look into these things now though!

Soren just melts my heart. He's so sweet, and his smile is amazing...and until about 3 weeks ago he was sleeping 8-10 hours straight at night. Now he has two teeth and is no longer sleeping so well...but we'll get there eventually! He is sitting up on his own for short periods of time now and tonight we fed him solids (oatmeal cereal) for the first time. He didn't quite know what to do with this "stuff" in his mouth, for the longest time her just sat there with it sitting in his mouth...no swallowing, no spitting it out...just sitting there with a strange look on his face like "what the heck, did you just put in my mouth!" He has a very temperate personality...very calm and "chill" and much more satisfied to be left to himself which is opposite how Sorsha was. He is pretty active and rolled early on like Sorsha and he's a BIG boy..nearly 18lbs already and not quite 6 months old. He outgrew the "bucket" carrier at 2 months due to height. he's really babbling lately too. Its quite fun to watch him develop, especially compared to how Sorsha grew...its so different in many ways yet so similar as well.

I absolutely LOVE my role as a stay-at-home mommy, though I rarely "stay-at-home". We are very active with hiking, "school " (parent-ed group), bible study and many other things. I'm still working from home doing graphic design for a restaurant-referral company. I don't make a ton of money, but enough to give us that little extra money to afford all the fun things I do with the kids, etc. I have become extremely close with my neighbor down the street, Celi. Her daughter, Myla and Sorsha are best-friends and we hang out many days in the week. It is so nice to have someone so close that we can just walk to eachothers' houses and we have so much in common. But primarily our link is our faith. We go to the same Bible study and our girls also go and its so nice to have that spiritual link as well as the link we have as mothers, women, wives, neighbors, and more. I am quite grateful that she is in my life. I haven't had a close girl-friend like that since High School. She and I are really close and I feel quite lucky to have found her as a friend.

I'm still very involved in girl Scouts and church and of course we are quite lucky to live close to both my parents and Matt's parents so we are close with family as well. I'll update more on those topics another time. I must get to work now as both kids are sleeping and I musn't waste this precious time!

Pony Ride

2008-06-04T05:38:24Z

IMG_8862.JPG, originally uploaded by jhdiddle.

Sorsha's first Pony ride. She really enjoyed going to the farm...strawberry picking, riding the pony, train, bounce-house and feeding carrots to the animals.

The Happy Couple

2008-05-27T15:49:47Z

IMG_1273.JPG, originally uploaded by jhdiddle.

Here they are as they ceremony ends...and the rest of the pics can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jhdiddle/sets/72157605255349203/

Go Dodgers!

2008-05-06T06:01:34Z

IMG_1036.JPG, originally uploaded by jhdiddle.

our family took a trip to the dodger game. It was quite enjoyable and Sorsha's pink Dodgers sweatsuit is just so cute! Even the boy had a dodger outfit and hat (all you can see in the pic of him is the hat).

Soren & Grot

2008-04-27T17:07:16Z

IMG_1008.JPG, originally uploaded by jhdiddle.

our cats LOVE sleeping with the kiddos